Thursday, April 9, 2015

The things I'm learning from obsessively watching Youtube make-up videos

I don't think there is anyone more obsessed with Youtube make-up videos at the moment than me. I'm just going to crown myself and let you all know that it's been decreed. The HOURS, people. The hours spent watching Youtubers I don't know putting make-up on their faces. I would be ashamed if I knew how to feel shame when it comes to things related to vanity.

And if there's anything I'm learning from Youtube make-up videos--besides obviously that my eyebrow game is lacking--it's that you can be a seemingly harmless person putting out free tutorials on smokey eye looks and people will still hate.your.fucking.guts.

Okay, no that's not it, totally. There's plenty more. Like:

1. How much people STILL like to say shitty things to strangers by first using the cop-out, "no offense." In the case of make-up videos, it's usually along the lines of:

No offense, but your make-up looks fucking hideous and you're not at all talented. Just wanted to let you know in case you were actually deluding yourself into thinking you were good at putting on make-up. No offense, though. :)

It's 2015, ya'll. If you want to be shitty, just be shitty. I think our society has gotten to that point.

2. How much people hate being called out for being shitty when they've said something terrible. There's this interesting dynamic on Youtube make-up videos (well probably all Youtube videos) where commenters think they can say whatever they want and the make-up guru just has to take it with a smile, and if they don't they're being assholes and and unappreciative of their subbies (worst word ever? Maybe). I.e.:

Commenter: No offense but this video sucked and you're totally uninspired, just like the lobster I had last night. 
Youtuber: Then don't watch.
Commenter: You stupid bitch--I was just trying to give you constructive criticism. 

I feel like these situations play out all the time in real life. I remember once in school a popular girl made a snotty, sarcastic comment to another girl who had the audacity to return a sarcastic comment and the popular girl almost lost her shit... when, really, what did she expect? Everyone needs to learn at some point in life that people respond in kind, so if you're being an asshole, just own it and don't be a dipshit about it when someone raises you one.  

3. How much people still think, "You know guys don't actually like that right?" is solid reasoning to not wear something. If you're not wearing your hair or doing your make-up in a certain way because of what Cosmopolitan or fucking GQ told you men liked, then you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I am my own person. If I like red lipstick then I'm going to goddamn stain my coffee mug with the brightest goddamned lipstick I can find every goddamn morning."

4. How often men think their opinion on something trumps your own preferences. See above.

5. How much I like Jaclyn Hill. Sorry, Guru Gossiper, I think she's delightful.


  1. I just discovered Jaclyn and get videos! Idk how it took me so long, she's amazing, and I watch a lot of YouTube makeup videos. No offense, but we're both weirdos haha I don't care though, I can't stop watching! I just did a post on some of my faves too! I don't read the comments though, and I am sorta glad based on what you pointed out, people suck.

  2. Jaclyn is one of my faves, one of the few I actually follow. I agree with you on the whole if you're gonna be shitty, just be shitty. Adding no offense to something doesn't make it any less shitty. And if you're gonna dish it out don't be surprised with the response.

    Besides watching people put on makeup I've been obsessed with videos on what's in people's purse.

  3. Internet comments can be so awful--I recently got worked up when a guy I knew from high school was defending that dumbass bill that was passed in Indiana. It made this other kid we went to high school with really angry, and there was this huge Facebook showdown. I ended up defriending several people that night, and I'm really surprised I didn't jump in, considering the amount of wine I had consumed. glad you're back!!! And everybody knows that anytime someone utters the words, "no offense," they are about to say something really offensive. What's the point in bothering?

  4. Dammit. I read this post an hour ago... and I've been sitting on youtube watching Jaclyn since. I totally blame you.

  5. Oh I'll have to look for your post! Jaclyn is one of my favorites--I'm not a huge smokey eye person but I like stealing her basic techniques, and I just think she's cute. I'm glad I'm not alone in my obsession :)

  6. Oh haha, yeah I've seen a lot of the people I watch doing those 'what's in my purse' videos. I'm always just jealous of their purses. Also, I feel bad, but I don't follow anyone! I need to subscribe to my favorites.

  7. Haha, oh my god I love reading Facebook fights. I'm so non-confrontational that I never join in, but god they expose the idiots you're friends with. And, AGREED. Just shut up and say the stupid offensive thing you're going to say or don't say it at all.

  8. YES! I love Desi Perkins, Lisa Eldridge (she actually is a "celebrity make-up artist"), EasyNeon, Batalash Beauty, GossMakeupArist, and Manny MUA. Some of them wear quite a bit of make-up but I still like watching them for basic techniques or just toning down the look they do. EasyNeon has the most gorgeous eye looks, but she's also looks like a supermodel so everything looks good on her.