Monday, December 15, 2014

The real reasons we have best friends

It took some new bangs and a whole office full of coworkers who couldn't be bothered to comment on them (Ed. note: Are we still on the fucking bangs?) to remind me why I appreciate my best friend so much.

She knows my vain ass self wants to hear that a however seemingly small change I made to my appearance looks good. And I mean, bangs are kind of obvious aren't they? It's not like I'm asking people to notice the new way I've been getting rid of my mustache (Ed. note: okay, we're done).

So since it's the season of giving back, I thought I'd write an ode to best friends. Without further ado, the real reasons we have best friends (in the, uh, event you need it spelled out for you):

1. Best friends notice your dumb bangs. And the almost indecipherable hair color change you made. And that your upper lip is looking less hairy. (Okay but seriously, I don't know why anyone uses painful creams anymore when these babies exist).

2. Best friends know all your stupid opinions and still somehow think you're an intelligent, worthwhile human being.

3. They know when you're just ranting and don't actually want help solving anything. You never have to think, "Oh my god, I wasn't looking for advice. Oh my god stop giving me advice. Dear god why are you still trying to give me advice?"

4. They let you make bad decisions. Not like dangerous, somebody-needs-to-stop-you decisions, but the harmless so-I'm-really-into-spandex-right-now decisions. I'm so sick of the idea that best friends are "the best" because they're brutally honest. Uh, no. Best friends let you date that idiot or wear that awful outfit and they aren't totally insufferable about it.

5. Best friends don't need to be impressed. Don't you hate meeting new people and you feel like you have to be on your best behavior and only talk about the coolest things you like? Yeah, me too. Let's undo our top buttons and watch Lifetime instead.

6. They know when you're being sarcastic and that when you start a statement with, "I love when..." you're not actually about to mention something you love.

7. They don't judge that "Story of My Life" is one of your favorite songs from 2014.

8. Or that your last meal consisted of three different fried entrees from Sonic.

9. They make fun of you to your face, not behind your back.

10. Best friends appreciate Boston Market as much as you do. And isn't that the most important reason of all?


  1. Ah, good old unobservant people. It's always so funny when I'm wearing glasses and people ask me if I got glasses. And I guess I didn't actually say it on your last post because I'm a huge neglecter (I thought it!), but hey girl, you look really cute in those bangs ;) Also, YES to #3 and #5.

  2. Oh my gosh, I love this! Because it's SO TRUE.

  3. #4! If best friends had to be brutally honest, I would fail every time. If you ask me which outfit looks better, I'll pick the more flattering one, but I'm not going to tell you you look bad in something. Everyone has to define their own style. Who am I to say that it looks bad? That's just my opinion.

  4. Number 3 is key! Venting/no advice. Sometimes you just need to let it out!

  5. I'm all about the fact that I am YOUR BESTFRIEND. Woe be unto any who try to come between us. Your bangs look awesome and driving 45 minutes for Boston Market is never a bad idea, especially when we had it for Thanksgiving. We are the best thing ever. EVER.

  6. Haha, thanks! I feel like glasses and bangs and stuff like that are something people never know if they're new or something you've always worn so there's that great internal struggle of, "hmm should I say something?"

  7. Exactly! I may not always like what my friends wear, but that doesn't mean I need to put my foot down and LET THEM KNOW.

  8. Exactly! Just let me rant--don't try to solve my problems!

  9. That's beautiful. And we totally are. Our reunion should be at a Boston Market.

  10. I got to see my best friends when I was home for Christmas and it was so great I miss them so much

  11. That's great! It's always awesome to see old friends.