Monday, December 8, 2014

And so, it's back to bangs

Who was I kidding for the past year living without bangs? Life was always a little sadder, and now I know why. The bangs. It always comes back to the bangs.

They've been my best friend since 15 and then I decided to grow them out and my forehead has just been all open and sad and exposed for months now. Pimples had no convenient cover and you could always see the burn marks near my hairline from when my curling iron got too close.

It was a rough time, but it's okay guys--I'm seeing the light now. Sure, I'll complain every morning about their maintenance but I'll get over it, because now when I see a photo of Taylor Swift rocking her own bangs, I can just think, "yeah man, bangs are awesome," instead of, you know, falling over from the weight of my own jealousy.

If you've never gotten bangs, just be warned, they're hard to quit. Unless they look like shit on you, and then they're probably pretty easy to quit.

But it was a hell of a lot easier for me to quit these things:

1. Coke. As in the drink. (No that wasn't supposed to be cute or clever). I had a Coke every day of my life, basically, from my tween years til 25. It was a serious relationship. Now, I only have Coke when I go on road trips (because I can't drink wine).

2. Nashville. Sorry Hayden Panettiere.

3. Philosophy's Hope in a Jar moisturizer. It was hard, but spending $30 on not moisturizer was easier.

4. Vanessa Carlton. Sorry I quit 'Be Not Nobody' once I graduated high school, but the angst just wasn't there anymore. Also, I always hated that album title. Even at my angstiest.

5. Thong underwear. Just kidding, thongs weren't hard to quit. Thongs are the worst. Who even wears them anymore except contractually obligated models?

6. Bailey's liquor. I loved you but you know what you did.

7. Turtlenecks. I used to really be into turtlenecks. Like, really into them. I don't know why either.

8. My love for Ryan Phillipe. No, I'm not talking about Reese Witherspoon's ex. I'm talking about Sebastien from Cruel Intentions.

9. My love for the name Sebastien. You were a great name.

10. Shaun White. I don't know, we had a special moment during the 2010 Olympics, okay?

Point is: Glad to have you back, bangs. You'll probably be here for awhile.


  1. I love bangs! I've always wanted those blunt stereotypical Asian ones, but whenever I tried, with a photo (even in Asia!), they either talked me out of it or just cut wispy side thingies that couldn't manage a good swoop. Sad, but I've learned to take a hint. You look cute!

  2. I was just thinking the other day that I need to get my bangs cut again too! It's been too long!

  3. I cannot rock bangs, but I still can't quit them. I don't know how many times in my life I've had the bright idea of "Let's get bangs again." Only to get them and suddenly want a time-turner while I awkwardly have to wait and grow them out. I never learn.

  4. The wispy side shit is THE WORST. No, man, I want bangs--give me actual BANGS. I've gone in so many times to end up with wispy side bangs and I'm so pathetically non-confrontational that I'm just like, uh yeah looks great!

  5. Haha, it's what bangs do to you! You only remember that one time you were able to style them well.. and not every other day where they were super annoying and looked awful!

  6. Seems that both of us were 'No Way on the Bang' thing and we both got them around the same time! They look awesome on you!!!!

  7. Thanks, Caitlyn! Bangs are way too hard to fight.