Tuesday, November 4, 2014

How to recognize when the toxic person is you

If there's one thing to learn from the Real Housewives, it's that some people are toxic and need to be cut out. But what if the toxic person is you? Nobody likes to think they're the problem--but sometimes the simplest solution is that, like Aviva, you're the problem.

So let's just acknowledge how to know when you're the most toxic person in your own life:

1. You immediately compare yourself to your friends when they experience success. By which, I mean you belittle their success and rationalize why you aren't as successful.

2. At the same time, you're paranoid that everyone is trying to undermine your own successes. Because they're jealous haters.

3. When you hear a juicy piece of gossip about someone you're supposedly friends with you almost shit yourself in excitement waiting to tell everyone else.

4. You cut people out when you think they're not supporting your 'business' ventures enough, whether it's shitty jewelry, black water or that dumb gym you opened like people actually need another option for somewhere to work out.

5. Your friends found success on their own and aren't living in your shadow anymore and you hate it so much that you begin to hate them. (Are we back to the friends finding success thing? Yes, we are. Because you can't. handle. it.)

6. You're easily slighted because 'honor' is more important to you above all else.

7. You like to blame your personal problems on other people because that's easier than acknowledging that you're just not that great of a person.

8. Your favorite topic of conversation is the importance of getting rid of the toxins in your life.


  1. Lol! #8 - I read a couple articles about "emotional vampires" and amused myself for about 20 minutes comparing my friends to the different types. So maybe I'm the problem, after all. :P But I, like, totally want my friends to succeed! And as long as those bitches remember to succeed just a little bit less than I do, then everything will be, like, totally copasetic.

  2. I was a little nervous to read this post, because I was worried I might be a toxic person, but luckily I don't meet ANY of these. I'm very supportive and happy for my friends and I fully blame myself for my lack of success. Yay!

  3. Hahah. Honestly, I think if you're even concerned that you're the toxic person, that's probably a decent sign you aren't!

  4. Haha! But of course. I mean they still should bow down to you at least a little. That's a given.

  5. Like Karen, I, too, was a little nervous about reading this. But I had to click when I saw Aviva, because she's crazy and I had to think that we weren't in the same category of toxic. I have had people like this in my life and am grateful that I don't have to deal with any of this any more :)