Friday, November 21, 2014

Friday confessions

First confession: I wish I had a confession juicy enough to get Anderson Cooper (or maybe you know him as the Silver Fox) to make that face. I don't, sorry. At least I don't think I do. He's probably heard some stuff, you know?

So I'll just settle for oh-shit-it's-time-to-write-a-blog-post-but-I-don't-know-what-to-write-about confessions instead.


--I just ate half a bag of grocery store brand cooler ranch chips and I'm thinking of making it my appetizer to an entree of tortilla chips and salsa verde.

--I will never not judge Selena Gomez for dating Justin Bieber. No, girl, we have not all been there.

--I'm starting to hold a grudge against Kimbra because every time I search for 90s music on Spotify, some song of hers is the first result. Do I look like I want to listen to a song called 90s music? No Spotify, I want to listen to Father of Mine.

--I get way too peevish when I sneeze multiple times and no one says bless you and then another person sneezes and five people trip over themselves trying to be the first to say, "bless you."

--I tried to watch Annie Hall the other day and then it opened on Woody Allen's fucking face and I almost turned it off immediately. I still haven't finished it. Is Annie supposed to be charming? Because she's more awkward than the most awkward person I know (me).

--None of the words on Time's list of words to ban really bother me, but I would like to nominate, "pesky." I'm convinced it's only ever used on political blogs where the conservative/liberal writer is saying that conservative/liberal people don't like "pesky facts." Yeah? Well I don't like your pesky use of pesky. What a stupid word.

--I paid for Taylor Swift's new album twice because I wanted to download it right away and then I realized I also wanted the bonus songs that are only on the Target CD.

--I can't join in on the Benedict Cumberbatch fangirling because the first movie I saw him in. he played a pedophile rapist and the image has just kind of stuck.

--I really, really like hate-listening to Jason Aldean. It's a weird relationship.

--The more people shit on Kim Kardashian, the more I like her (okay, fine, the more ambivalent I am about her). I'm over how "oh my god where's our society going? Something something the Kardashians," has become the go-to way to say, "look at me, I'm smart and care about important things."

--I've put a lot of thought into this and I'm fairly positive the car brand with the most assholish of drivers is Subaru followed by Audi.

--I pre-ordered the fourth Twilight book.

--The feelings I feel when reading status updates about grad school are I assume what people who hate kids feel about baby pictures.

--I used to think Vanessa Carlton was the most masterful songwriter on the entire planet and I loved, "Be Not Nobody" more than my own kin.

--One of the craziest New Year's I've ever spent ended with a whipped cream fight at midnight and drinking champagne from plastic flutes in a bubble bath. Except I was 10 and the champagne was apple cider and we were in the bath in our swimsuits. Man, that ending was a letdown.

Okay, tell me a confession.


  1. I'm feeling a lot of feeling after this post. A few things ....

    1. Can't believe that you brought Everclear into this post.

    2. I get you on Jason Aldean.
    3. Um, we usually agree on the menfolk but I can't believe that you're not digging on Benedict Cumberbatch. Like, this makes me really uncomfortable.

  2. Oh, I'm laughing about how you pre-ordered the fourth Twilight. I'm also not into Benedict Cumberbatch. I haven't seen him in much, but he just looks odd to me. Trying to think of a good confession. . .all I've got is I really want bunny slippers for my birthday. No shame.

  3. I just don't understand the Benedict Cumberbatch love. I never will.

    Your last confession totally cracked me up! Well, really, all of them did, but the last one is priceless!

  4. There's another Twilight coming out? Are you kidding me?? SCORE!

  5. 1. I did it and I won't apologize!
    2. THANK YOU.
    3. Okay, okay. Just let me watch a season of Sherlock and I'm sure I'll be on board. (Unless I watch Atonement again...)

  6. Okay yeah, no shame, those things look so cozy. And I'm really embarrassed by how into Twilight I once was. I even saw a midnight showing. Oh god the shame.

  7. Thanks, Karen! I don't get it either. I mean I don't think the man is unattractive, but I just don't get the hysteria.

  8. Aaahh don't make me be the bearer of bad news, but no. Aren't there four Twilight books.. right? I was just confessing to being a former Twihard.

  9. Well I googled it and Midnight Sun was SUPPOSED to come out but she quit because 12 chapters leaked and she's butt hurt.

  10. Hey, you know what....As a proud Audi owner AND YOUR BEST FRIEND. I have to say that I feel Camry owners are just old grandmas who run their cars into things for . Also, I would take offense but we both know who you are talking about on the grad school front. I just quietly cry to you like a normal person. And yea, I paid for the Tay album twice because duh.

  11. Camry drivers are goddamn respectable AND YOU KNOW IT.