Friday, September 12, 2014

Oh look, a tag post

This guy's excited. Full disclosure: Found this screenshot in my saved pictures, which means it was pretty important at some point in my life.

Alternate title for the post: Let me talk about myself a lot. It's cute when I at least acknowledge it, right? It's all because recently Kate at Thoroughly Modern tagged me in the Liebster Awards business and, not so recently, Misha K. from her namesake blog tagged me as well.

It's Friday, I'm burnt out from the week and someone's providing me with an easy blog post? Okay, yeah, let's do this.

I'm supposed to share 11 facts about myself, but that seems excessive, so I'll cap it at five. Hold on to your seats.

1. I once tried to pee in the mountains in a secluded spot during a hike and when I was done, I turned around and two people were staring at me. I don't know how much they saw. I didn't ask.

2. I only like shrimp when it's doused in cocktail sauce or a lemon-butter pasta sauce. Anything else, no fucking thanks.

3. I want to be a celebrity so someone will make gifs of all the bitchfaces I'd make at an awards show.

4. I secretly get really possessive/hateful when something I like becomes really popular but I don't admit it because I don't want to be that person.

5. I fucking hate Grey's Anatomy, Nicholas Sparks and that stupid, uplifting viral post you just shared on Facebook.

There, I feel like those are the most important things about me. Let's get onto the questions. I did this post because Kate's and Misha's were just SO GOOD. 

Name three books that have inspired you. 

1) Slammerkin. The heroine was such a terrible person and I loved it. 2) Anna Karenina. Read it for a class and skimmed over some of the chapters (shut up), but some of the prose in that book is so goddamn beautiful it hurts. 3) Anything by Ann Rinaldi. Tween girls who like history: READ HER.

Which celebrity would you like to crawl under a rock and disappear? Please be creative and refrain from using a Kardashian. 

I guess it also wouldn't be creative to say Justin Bieber, so I'll say Kelly Osbourne. I don't know if it's her fucking lavender hair (it's not, I love her hair) or how she doesn't shut up about her beef with Xtina, but there's a lot of dislike there.

If you could live in another decade, which would it be, and why? 

30s. THE GLAMOUR. The fashion. I want to pluck all my eyebrow hairs out just so I can draw them on.

Share one song that speaks to your soul. 

All Too Well by Taylor Swift. Won't even apologize for how much I love screeching, "Maybe we got lost in translation, Maybe I asked for too much..."

If you could eat one thing everyday, and not have to worry about weight gain, heart disease, or diabetes, what would it be? 

Roasted kale. By a landslide.

What is the number one place on your travel bucket list?


What do you think is the most underrated movie of all time?

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. No flying fucks are given whether you agree or not.

What is the go-to drink that you order when you're trying to look sophisticated? 

A martini. I keep trying to force it, but it's not working. I hate martinis. 

If a store/designer offered you free merchandise for a year, which store would you want it to be?

Target. Not even going to name a designer. Target has everything I need.

Have you every played an instrument?

Yes! The flute (I sucked) and the piano (I was okay). I can still play Star Wars on the piano. It's my party trick. 

What is your go-to karaoke song choice?


What's your guilty pleasure?

Writing blog posts solely about myself?

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what would it be and why?

22. You can legally drink in the states but you're young and you think life is full of possibilities. And no one side eyes drinking too much. God, did I just reference drinking twice?

What is your idea of the perfect day?

Waking up at 9 a.m., going to brunch with my boyfriend, watching a couple of hours of Real Housewives with my sister, sitting out in the sun with a drink and friends and eating roasted kale.

Would you rather have extremely long ear hair that hangs out or a unibrow? Both are very obvious, permanent and cannot be shaved/waxed/etc.

Ear hair? I could at least try to hide it with my head hair.

What is your favourite quote?

"You think I'm crazy, I've got your crazy."--Britney Spears.

What would you change your first name to if you could?

Vesper. Definitely Vesper. 

If you could have the personality of any fictional character from a TV show, who would it be?

Leslie Knope. God, I'd love to have her passion for anything. 

If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be?

I'd love to know the answer to, "Why did Lady Gaga so desperately not want certain court documents to come out?" 

If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?

Cat so I could nap all fucking day/A cocktail with X-Rated because it's classy and slutty/Cookie dough because is there really another ice cream flavor outside of that?

Favourite blog post that you have ever read?

Oh lord. No idea. None.

Now, it's my turn to spread the love.

--Marielle from This Flooded Sky.
--Kiersten from She is Fierce.
--Elizabeth from Nom Elizabeth.
--Caitlyn from Chem Grad Boom.
--Jamie from SnapGinger.
--Jenn from Business, Life & Design.
--Sarah from Seriously, Sarah?

Sorry if ya'll just did one of these posts. I'm too much of a lazy asshole to check.

Here are my questions:

1. F/M/K: Robin Thicke, Iggy Azalea, Woody Allen.

2. Celine Dion or Mariah Carey?

3. What is your stance on the great pie vs cake debate?

4. What song do you secretly love that you pretend to hate?

5. What is one of the happiest memories you have?

6. Which side do you fall on in the Katy Perry/Taylor Swift blood feud?

7. If you could recreate a romance from any movie, which would it be?

8. What is a dealbreaker quality in another person that would prevent you from being friends with them?

9. Do you still want to be what you did when you were 13?

10. Would you rather appear on Fear Factor or The Bachelor?

11. What is your favorite topic to write about?


  1. I asked my colleague-friend the question on ear-hair-and-unibrow. She said she rather live without both. #idonteven

  2. I love every bit of this but especially #5. I've never seen Grey's Anatomy (got super turned off when suddenly everyone was trying to tell me I looked "exactly" like that Asian character), loathe Nicholas Sparks (because nothing's worse than manipulative tearjerkers), and the only things worse than viral uplifting posts are dumbass memes. Why is everything these days just crappy photos with words on them? There's some irony with that and the idea that "a picture is worth a thousand words" saying that I can't quite elucidate.

  3. You left me out. :( I haz the sadz....

    #4&5... are you and I the same? I can't get into Grey's Anatomy... Nicholas Sparks can suck a dick and I deleted Facebook a month ago. Because of stupid posts.

    Oh, and I liked Nirvana before all these weird teens started liking him and CRYING over his death. WTF!

  4. Haha, I'm pretty sure everyone would like to live without both.

  5. Oh lord, seriously? Yep, you and Sandra Oh. Total match. The Nicholas Sparks stuff wouldn't be quite as awful if there didn't always have to be some type of terminal illness or false murder charge (looking at you Safe Haven) clogging up the plot.

  6. Not even kidding--I woke up on Friday and was like, oh shit, I should've added like four more bloggers, including you. So, uh, consider this a formal tag. I actually watched the first four or so seasons of Grey's on Netflix and got it into but you can only take so much over-the-top drama shit.

    I love that you called out those teenagers. They were just really affected by it, okay?

    I would also like to add my hatred for viral facebook posts. In fact, I pretty much despise the word "viral." Never want to hear it/see it again.

  8. Hahaha totally. Thanks for tagging me, by the way. ;)