Monday, September 22, 2014

Let's get real(er) about blogging

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Otherwise known as Part 2 of Let's Get Real About Blogging. Why another part? Because you'll learn that every blog post you write, there's also something you left out or could've said better.

So let's just get into it, shall we?

(Disclaimer: In case you're just stumbling upon this blog, this advice is for people just starting blogging from someone who's only a few steps above. In case, you know, you just checked out my stats, and were like, "bitch, please.")

THINGS BLOGGERS WILL TELL YOU HAVE TO DO

1. Always, always, ALWAYS use a picture with each post. This advice is the reason I always have a dumbass gif or photo with each post. It's been drilled into my head. But you know what? For the longest time my favorite blog was The Frenemy and she rarely uses a photo with each post. She's parlayed her blog into two books (not even self-published ones). So I guess my point is, take that advice with a grain of salt.

2. Be authentic. What does that mean? Who even knows. To some, it's throwing the word 'positivity' around like it's confetti. To others, it's not using too many Instagram filters. How about you write about what you want to write about and call it a day.

3. Keep a strict schedule. Look, if you created your blog solely to build an empire, then.. a) good luck with that and b) yeah, you'll have to hustle. But if you started it for fun, then don't try to force blog posts. At least post once a week so people remember you exist, but if you're not feeling it one night, then just walk away from your computer. No one is waiting on tenterhooks for your blog post. The world (and your blog) will continue even if you neglect to write a post one day of the week.

4. Use [insert media platform here] to promote your blog. If you're not into it, then you're not into it. Don't get an Instagram account because some blogger with 5,000 followers told you to. I am so fucking sick of hearing about using Pinterest. I hate Pinterest.

IT'S OKAY IF...

1. You don't understand why that sponsored blog post on a mundane household item has 60+ comments and you can barely get five. No one thought their post was brilliant but several people still thought it was worth sucking up to. Do you want to be that person who acts like the sponsored post was brilliant? You decide.

2. You don't give a fuck about maximizing your blog readership but would rather just write and see what happens.

3. You still commented on a blog post that you thought sucked because you wanted to suck up to a specific blogger. I'm totally a hypocrite. I wouldn't pretend otherwise.

4, You pretend to be more interested in something than you really are just to comment on someone's blog post. Sometimes you just want to connect with another blogger, and when you're still new at it, you're going to try harder to create a connection because you don't know anyone.

5. You don't get why another blogger is so popular. I said my last post not to compare yourself, but of course you're going to. You can either be bitter about it or you can move on.

THINGS THAT WILL REMIND YOU WHY YOU STARTED BLOGGING

1. When you get followers and you're not even part of a giveaway.

2. When you get regular commenters and they get your humor/personality.

3. When you meet people like Kate, Marielle, Nicole, this Kate, Natalie, Helene, Lix, Emma and so many more. (I'd mention Crystal, but I've known that dumb bitch since college.)

MY ULTIMATE TIP 

Feel like you haven't gotten enough likes on your tweets/etc? Just mention Katy Perry. Her fanboys/girls work fast. Every tweet I've ever made about her (loving ones, of course) have been favorited/retweeted within two seconds of being published.

31 comments:

  1. Omg I'm so happy you made a part two. And let me tell you this made me chuckle, which I needed on this shitty ass Monday. Love that I came across your blog. Your no holds bar approach is a breathe of fresh air.

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  2. Oops I meant to add that the whole picture thing with each posts is one I always struggled with. I love taking pictures and adding them when I can but the truth is I don't have a lot of time to set up and take nice ass pics all the time.

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  3. I'm going to start leaving Katy Perry easter eggs in all of my upcoming posts.


    Also, I'm blushing after seeing that I'm included in that list with those awesome bloggers :)

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  4. I KNEW I couldn't be the only one tired of all the positivity confetti and the posts about being authentic/only showing part of your real life. I really can't bear Pinterest (even though I'm still on it for the recipes) and Instagram. I've become a Twitter convert but I have to draw the line somewhere. Thanks for including me in that list of awesomeness because now I have two new bloggers to stalk. Also, loved this: "No one is waiting on tenterhooks for your blog post." Because no one needs to apologize for having a life and not posting/following their editorial calendar. Ever.

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  5. The truth in this.


    A secret - whenever I see a post like "5 helpful tips for bloggers!" or "5 things bloggers should always do!" or "3 things bloggers should NEVER do" I always silently add in my head "..or I could just do whatever the hell I want." #truelife


    But you know something that really annoying about blogworld? People use too many damn exclamation marks. Like everything is an exclamation mark. I don't understand, you cannot be that upbeat/excited/happy about every single sentence. *end mini-rant*


    Also that tip totally works for Beyonce fans too. They go hard for Queen B. (Just don't insult her, then they go psycho).


    Z.

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  6. Great post. I especially like the "it's okay if" part - because we've all been there and thought those things!

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  7. You're lucky that we met in college and I chose to make your life magical.

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  8. I'm not sure what tenterhooks are, but I'm pretty sure my mom is totally waiting on them for all my blog posts. She's my #2 fan (my husband has her beat by thismuch).
    Also #5 is so true. Like I know not to compare myself blah blah blah, but I totally will, and sometimes I don't get it. These half-illiterate bloggers who write totally basic stuff (I'm so cool--I used the word basic) have thousands of followers? WHYYYYYY?! It makes me weep for humanity, truly.

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  9. this is so accurate. seriously, just do what you want. you always make me happy.

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  10. Confession: the other day (week? who even knows) I noticed you dropped the word 'cunt' on your blog and I've never actually worked up the courage to use it on my own blog despite the fact that I use the word every day. In other words, I love you for that.

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  11. Right?? No, sorry, I don't have the perfect picture to use with this damn post. Honestly, I feel like if your words are good enough a picture shouldn't matter, but maybe I'm wrong since everyone and their mother recommends you use a photo. Also, thanks so much for the nice words!

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  12. DO IT! Just don't insult the K-Perr or it'll all go downhill. Also, I'm always happy to make you blush!

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  13. Fuck the positivity confetti! And am I following you on Instagram? God, now I need to go find out. And yes, I can't handle the bloggers who apologize for not having new posts especially on holidays and such. Oh, come on. No one is desperately waiting for your post!

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  14. Aah, I feel like I should know this about Beyonce already. Have I really not tweeted my love? And yes, I can't handle the exclamation points. I use so many as a blogger, especially in comments, just to show I'm trying to be enthusiastic/sound nice. It's so hard with the written word to interpret tone.


    Also, I love the 'just do whatever the hell I want' point. Because we should. What works for some people won't work for you--it's just the way it is.

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  15. Thanks, Laura! I struggled with that part because I didn't want to sound too bitter, but seriously, I'm pretty sure we have all been there.

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  16. SO magical. Why didn't you meet me sooner, you whore?

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  17. Haha, everyone (i.e. my best friend and boyfriend) make fun of my use of tenterhooks. It's okay. But if your mom is waiting on tenterhooks, then that's all that matters. And, on the second point, me too. ME TOO.

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  18. Whenever I read the word 'tenterhooks' I just get Camera Obscura's French Navy playing through my head. On tenterhooo-ooo-ooks, ohh with the looks, the looks, the looks~~~~

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  19. Hmm...I DON'T KNOW. Maybe because you were dead set on hanging out with a downer crowd and calling it a night like an old lady at 9 pm because you had put on your pajama pants. MAYBE THAT'S WHY.

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  20. Me too! I love exclamation marks! I mean them completely! I'm also an angry asshole and I complain a lot and will call people out on their bullshit, and I hate it when people police my tone or try to convince me that I should be positive all the time and never say a bad thing about anyone or anything because otherwise I will never succeed. Drives me up the goddamn wall.

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  21. Pajama pants are sacred and the fact that you're questioning them is really making me doubt what we have.

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  22. Not when you try and say that you can't drink away your undergraduate years because you already put on your "sleep pants". I almost gave up on you then and there. THEN AND THERE.

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  23. And I love you for your raw, HONEST writing skills as well!

    I love the word cunt. I use it a lot too. I'll only drop that word on my blog once in a blue moon. But it is a fun word to say lol!!

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  24. Oh, I've escaped Instagram since I've never had a smartphone. Win.

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  25. Tone-policing is the worst! "Well, I agree with what you say in theory, but I can't take you seriously unless you can say it nicely." DON'T ASK ME TO BE NICE WHEN DISCUSSING THE OPPRESSION OF WOMEN.

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  26. Sweet, I got a shout out on this post! I'm so over including pictures in my post. I think we should start a revolution on that.

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  27. Some serious wisdom here. I gave up the notion of "maximizing readership" sometime in the late 1990s, mostly because I figured that the whole point of writing all this crap was to get it off my plate, not to pass it off as nourishment for random passersby. By all the current How To Blog standards, I am doing everything wrong, and have been for some time; ten years from now, if I have ten years from now, I'll probably be doing exactly the same thing while everyone else has migrated to a new social network that automatically sends status updates based on blood pressure and hormonal flow.

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  28. Great tips, it is good to remember why you started blogging in the first place

    www.blogsbygabrielle.blogspot.com

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