Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Why I'll never be a proper style blogger

Cheers, bitches.
So I started this blog with the intention of being somewhat of a style blogger, but in between my feminist rants and talking about all of the words I hate (all of them), I'm realizing the style blogger life just isn't for me.

Also, I kind of just suck at it. Don't take any of the following reasons as a fault against actual style bloggers. It's always about me and my own failures.

1. I don't have the confidence to look at a camera and make a, "I'm so hot, look at how hot I am" face. Which is weird, because I'm super vain. Yeah, I just called myself super vain. Self-awareness and all that.

2. I have no idea where I can buy macarons around here, much less photograph myself with them.

3. I own maybe four pair of shoes that I regularly wear. And most of the time (i.e. 99 percent of my life) I just wear a pair of light tan ballet flats because they go with anything. That's right I wear them just so I don't have to do the whole okay-these-shoes-are-black-but-my-purse-is-brown-and-even-though-that-doesn't-bother-me-I-know-other-bitches-will-side-eye-it routine.

4. I don't know of any brightly-colored picket fences to take pictures in front of.

5. Or large, empty fields.

6. Or absurdly cute downtown areas.

7. Okay, well at least no absurdly cute, downtown areas not inhabited by people all the time. Wait, I'm supposed to take pictures in front of other people? Gross. No thanks.

8. My apartment isn't decorated in shades of white and gold.

9. I don't have a lucite desk.

10. I don't even have lucite shoes. (Oh wait, I think that's a good thing.)

11. I don't own an oversized Michael Kors watch.

12. I do own an oversized Fossil watch, but it stopped working and I don't know what to do about it. If your solution is to expend energy on taking it to the jewelry store, then we really just won't relate.

13. The only hairstyles I know are straight (never happens, takes too long), structured waves (i.e. my hair every day) and an over-the-shoulder fishtail braid (the braid of people too lazy to learn French braids).

14. I only own two clutches. TWO.

15. I don't eat at cute, little cafes with patio seating except maybe once every two months. (Yeah, I don't know how my instagram maintains itself either.)

16. My hair doesn't look good in a top-knot.

17. I still have no idea how to do a side-braid incorporating my bangs.

18. I mean I know how, but I don't know how to do it so it actually looks good.

19. I still haven't mastered the cat-eye liner, even though I wear it at least 75 percent of the time. It's always a struggle.

20. I'm always an hour late to the party. Hey, did you guys know spikes are super cool and on trend? As in, I'm still deciding they're super cool because I went crazy during the spike trend and bought way too much shit with spikes on it. 


  1. Haha! Love #1. I suck at posing for cameras and fake smiling. My driver's license photo is just this weird grimace. I've always wondered about fashion blogger photoshoots. Where do they go? Do they really do it every day? God, that's boring. Maybe someday I'll stumble upon a blogger photo sesh downtown and get to photobomb. Also, I have to say that the GOMI thread on fashion photo fails always gives me a good laugh.

  2. Thanks for the good laughs!!! That damned cat eyeliner!

  3. You know what, though? I like your non-style posts.

  4. I'm such a terrible fashion blogger, I don't even know how I got accepted to reward style. I can't do braid hairstyles AT ALL because my hair is in layers, so braids always fall apart. Also, sometimes I just don't like doing what everyone else is doing. Oh, you instagrammed yourself with that kendra scott necklace? cool, join the five million other fashion bloggers on my feed who are doing the same thing.

  5. I don't know how they could possibly have time to do it everyday. Organizing someone to take the photos of them and all that (does it always fall to boyfriends?). I'm wondering if they just do like, shoots, and do a few outfits at a time and get it over with. All I know is when I wear a cute outfit, I'm going out somewhere to do something, I have no patience for having to stop and take a photo. And I might have to check out that GOMI thread.

  6. Haha, yes, me too. Being broke is kind of an impediment to getting cute clothes to feature!

  7. OH MY GOD THAT EYELINER. I love it so much but if I haven't perfected it after two years of wearing it, I don't have high hopes for ever really getting it.

  8. That's good to hear, because when I do another redesign, I really need to do some re-branding and have categories that focus more on the non-style things.

  9. What Kendra Scott necklace?! Ugh, I'm so not cool. And layers can make braids really pretty but you're right, they're such a bitch. My fishtail braids require like 5 bobby pins.