Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Money can't buy you happiness...

Except, of course, when it does.

I know polite company shouldn't talk about money (what would the Countess think of me?), but I wrote a Facebook status recently linking to an article that listed both of my degrees as two of the lowest-paying majors and included a self-deprecating mention thanking the article for reminding me of my poor life choices. Hilarious, I know.

A Facebook friend responded by saying, "well when you really love your job, money isn't important."

Well, shit.

A) Thanks for making me look like a shallow asshole. B) Don't we all know that's the truth, but how many of us actually have our dream jobs?

I'm kind of convinced the people who say stuff like, "money can't buy you happiness" are people who don't have to worry about money. Sure, if deep down in your core, you're unhappy, money won't change that. But lots of unhappiness and stress are circumstantial.

So while money can't buy you true happiness, it can buy you these things:

1. Relief from debt.

2. The assurance that if you or your loved one gets hurt, you can cover the medical costs.

3. Health insurance.

4. Dental coverage so your teeth don't slowly rot.

5. A two-week vacation when the stress of your job is too much.

6. A round-trip flight when you want to visit family or your best friend who you only see once in a blue moon.

7. A massive house you can have all to yourself or fill with whoever you want.

8. The ability to pay off your student loans.

9. That goddamn dress you've been coveting and why the fuck won't it ever go on sale?

10. A gym membership.

11. Artisanal foods from Whole Foods.

12. The choice to have the kind of "eccentric" personality Simon Doonan or Vogue would write about. You sunbathe in your pearls and keep a pet tiger?! You don't say.

13. The freedom to pursue your artistic dreams without having to worry about making rent.

14. All the macarons you could want on earth.

15. The ability to travel all over the world for months at a time without working to pay your way.

16. The opportunity to pursue all the dumb hobbies you're interested in.

17. A university library with your family's name on it.

18. A college education.

19. A housekeeper, so keeping your house neat and tidy isn't another item on your list of worries.

20. The peace of mind that you don't have to worry about paying your bills.


  1. God. Facebook. How I loathe thee. I swear people are such dicks on that. I'm a broke bitch soooo money would surely buy me some happiness. Instead of buying generic toilet paper... I'd give anything to pay that extra $$ for some name brand, cotton cushy stuff for my ass.


  2. How does that saying go... Money can't buy you happiness but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle?! Money makes your life less stressful, you're spot on!

  3. I totally agree with you. It cannot buy happiness but it can buy other important things that we need to survive. This Fb friend needs a life.. Ignore them. Money can buy me a debt free card..lol.. I need it to pay off my student loan. However, love of money is not good. I sometimes look at rich people and they appear to have it all financially but not emotionally. I also believe in doing what you love because it will be less stress on your life. Your wellbeing comes first. Trust the process and have faith. More money will come.

  4. The macaroons. Oh, all of the macaroons. It kills me that they're like $3 a piece at my favorite bakery. I guess I save calories and money?

  5. As always, you are, er, right on the money. I swear I didn't do that on purpose. :p

  6. All my degrees are in super low paying majors. And I love where life has led me, but I would have definitely told 18-year-old me to pick one major for love and one for survival. Because I literally dream of being student loan debt free. People who say money isn't important are fooling themselves. Can't buy happiness, sure. But it's the ultimate facilitator.

  7. Haha, YES. Name brand toilet paper (and tissues!) are everything. And I will admit to hate-reading a lot of people's statuses on Facebook. I don't even dislike the person who wrote them, but they just somehow take on a more annoying personality when they're on Facebook.

  8. Haha, I like that saying. It's so true. I just think how nice it would be to not have this student loan debt on my shoulders. I mean, no, paying it off wouldn't make me automatically happier, but it would be really freaking nice.

  9. Hahaha aw :( At least with a history major you can dream of being asked to comment on History Channel specials alongside that alien guy (I assume that's what you all dream about, right?)

  10. Yeah, obsessing over money is definitely not good or healthy. But god it'd be nice to pay off student loans in one swoop, wouldn't it? When I think about, say, winning the lottery, the first thing I think of is paying off debt, not what nice car or house I'd buy. But I do hope to find what I want to do that makes me happy no matter what it pays! Thanks for the comment, Bryn!

  11. Haha, I KNOW. They are so expensive. Sometimes I go to Whole Foods and buy one in every color because I'm there and have no self-control in Whole Foods ever.

  12. It really is. I don't even want lots of money to buy massive homes across the world and furs and etc, I just want a cute apartment in a great area where I don't have to worry about rent ever and sometimes I can plan to take week-long trips to Hawaii. So I know what one major is in (anthro), but what are your other majors in? I'm anthro and journalism and the journalism major was my "survival major." Which was an interesting choice in hindsight...

  13. You are most welcome. You will in due time. Nothing happens before it time.

  14. Italian, which ended up being super useful when I ran away to Asia, and then a grad degree in International Studies/ESL. So I guess the ESL + teaching experience is my survival degree, but only abroad since I don't feel like getting certified here. Oh well. Gives me some motivation to become a struggling crappy SFF writer, which was always my dream anyway.

  15. I am 'technically' getting a degree that I could make decent money with but because I want to do research in art museums slash that idea. Even though I would make more working in a typical chemist job, I love what I do and am ok with the pay cut. But I do know that taking research projects and grants that pay better making doing what I love a lot easier!

  16. That's great you love what you do! It really does help when the way you spend the majority of your day is doing something you love. But I'm curious--what kind of research are you doing for art museums?

  17. Yes loving what you do is a huge help. I do a lot of odd things like tell you that this artwork will fade if you show it, tell you its a fake/been super touched up and id things that help give a date on when it was made and loads of other weird stuff. By far my favorite is figuring out something is a fake!