Friday, July 18, 2014

Friday's Forgettable Five: Things I did for my vanity this week

Me, Friday night. When I forget all this shit. (via)

1. Rediscovered Jergen's Natural Glow. Just so I'll be slightly less pale when I go to a water park this weekend. I've gone to bed every night with it on me and I've woken up every morning to smell it on my sheets. Every morning. The smell. It doesn't go away and it doesn't get better.

2. Caved and bought drugstore mascara after all the youtube gurus told me that you shouldn't spend big bucks on mascara because they're all the same. Thanks for crushing my dreams, assholes. Mascara was my thing. Also, you could have told me that before I spent $30 on Dior's Diorshow Iconic last month.

3. Bought waterproof mascara so I can wear it to the water park and pretend my lashes are just that naturally black and long.

4. Ran way too late one morning because my artfully constructed and then artfully disheveled curls are more important than, uh, punctuality.

5. Thought way too hard about getting bangs again and then thought against it because I hate the way I look when I go swimming and my bangs curl up all ugly after they get wet. That's why I'm not getting bangs.

The moral is... you know those girls who take five minutes to get ready and then still look great, no matter what they do? Fuck them. (No, not really, okay.)

Happy Friday.

10 comments:

  1. I hate that smell. so much. I haven't bought a single high end mascara (although I've gotten a few sample sizes in subscription boxes) and they really are all the same. It's all about the brush and the tube. And I will never get straight across bangs again because they curl out on the sides and it looks goofy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like I should get an honorable mention for weighing in in the bangs. We know I was a voice of reason on that one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really like that you included a label called "jergenssmellshorrible." The worst thing you can say to a pale person is when they've spent all week cultivating a lovely glow at the beach, then some inconsiderate jerk says "wow! you didn't get any sun at all!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Jergen smell. Being pale myself I know exactly how you feel! Also I have been debating on bangs to, but my curly hair and bangs tend to be more of a hassle than I like to deal with!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bangs are annoying period when your hair isn't stick straight. Glad I didn't get them again now. And you're right--it is all about the brush and tube. Some mascaras are worse than others about flaking, but I've found just as many high-end brands that flake as the drugstore brands. I just bought Loreal's Million Lash (or something) and I'm liking it pretty well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha. OKAY FINE. Thank you for encouraging me not to go down that road again. Bangs are just SO cute when done right. Oh well. It is nice not to have to deal with them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. WHAT A JERK. Gah. Not everyone can be super tan. Let us pale girls have our kinda nice glow moments when we get them! And I will always include that label because IT SMELLS SO BAD.

    ReplyDelete
  8. They are so annoying when your hair isn't straight! You have to do them every day even when you don't shower and then a hint of moisture makes them spring up all annoying. Okay, I'm getting more and more glad I didn't get bangs. And yes, that Jergens smell. That damn smell.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm going to frame this phrase and put in my bathroom.

    ReplyDelete