Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The thoughts you have during an MRI

The most stressful 20 minutes of my entire life were spent in an MRI machine yesterday. And, actually, I'm still kind of stressed about it.

It's not that I'm hugely claustrophobic--I can ride elevators perfectly fine. BUT I need to know that I can freely move. When the space is too small and I know I can't even sit up... well that's when I freak out. (i.e. why I'll never go spelunking.)

MRI machines? Yeah, they aren't very roomy. After one false start, when I made the nice technician let me sit up and just breathe, I managed to hold my anxiety together long enough for the 20 minutes the test would take, but it came at a cost. A holy-shit-stop-thinking things cost.

These are the thoughts you have in an MRI machine:

--Oh god it's happening. Don't open your eyes. For the love of god, don't open your eyes and see the tiny space you're in.

--Wait, no, it's okay, I'm on a beach in a nice big lounge chair and the sun is shining and I'm holding a margarita.

--Oh god no, I'm in a coffin. I'm stuck in it and I can't sit up.

--No, shut up, I'm on the beach. It's okay, it's not like I actually feel pressure on top of me. Oh god that would be horrible.

--Oh my god stop thinking about what it would be like to be trapped under debris.

--Shit. Am I being still enough?

--Am I moving? I can't tell if I'm moving. My fingers don't feel anything. Oh wait they are lying flat on the board.

--Am I lying crooked? Why is my body so disoriented from the rest of me? I'm lying straight. Why don't I feel like I'm lying straight?

--Oh shit my foot is twitching. Am I falling asleep? Please fall asleep.

--Okay, not possible with this drilling. So much drilling.

--Shit, did she just say I still have eight minutes left? Okay, that's not that bad. Just keep your eyes closed.

--Okay, I kind of want to open them. No don't. That's a terrible idea.

--I'm on a beach. I'm on a beach. I'm on a beach.

--Oh god, why didn't I request a sedative?


  1. and this is why I hope that I never have to get an MRI. gah.

  2. Oh my gosh, I have totally been there! I even took the sedatives but still kinda felt like I was loosing it! During mine, they also pulled me out after like 20 minutes to tell me they needed to give me dye to get a better picture, so I was coming out but could NOT move at all and then they took like 20 minutes and 5+ stabs at my arms and hands till they actually got the vein...then 20 more minutes in the tube! The good news is, we are both badasses for getting through it, right?
    Hope you are ok and the results are positive!

  3. I had an MRI for migraines, which was insane because the noise from the machine made it 100x worse! Your list of thoughts is hilarious, but I hate that you had to go through that!

  4. Haha, I'm hoping to never do one again....

  5. Thanks Sarah! And UGH, that sounds terrible!! I would have definitely lost it for that long. I kept just trying to tell myself I was just lying on my back in bed but it didn't totally work (obviously!). But I see what they meant about dye or non-dye now, I had no idea what that referred to when I took my MRI.

  6. Oh lord, that machine would be terrible to be in if you had a migraine! I was warned that it was loud, but you don't really understand until you're in it.