Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The benefits of dating a feminist

Unfortunately I'm not about to launch into all the reasons I'm amazing to date. The feminist in question is actually my boyfriend, and, well, since we're on the subject, he's pretty great to date, too.

So allow me to explain why feminists just do it better:

1. They don't have weird, obsessive needs to prove their masculinity over and over and over and it would never be threatened by something so insignificant as a woman paying on a date or a pastel-colored shirt. 

2. They do the dishes and don't make a big deal about it.

3. They don't make the "rawr!" noise every-time you complain about another woman (you know who you are).

4. They don't think having emotions is emasculating.

5. They don't say stupid things like, "I'd never respect a girl if she slept with me on the first date," but actually recognize that adults are allowed to be sexual.

6. They don't think being called a girl is the WORST.THING.THAT.COULD.EVER.HAPPEN. And they don't insult their friends by belittling their girlfriends.

7. They aren't homophobic.

8. They'll order alcoholic drinks piled high with whipped cream and a cherry on top without actually giving a fuck what you think.

9. They recognize that to acknowledge rape culture exists isn't to indict all men everywhere, because they're wise enough to know it's not about them personally.

10. They don't disrespect women who wear short skirts.

11. They don't blame every bad mood on your period.

12. They don't put you on a pedestal and then flip shit when you don't live up to that image because they realize you're human and not actually some precious flower.

13. They also recognize it's not actually romantic to treat you like some precious flower.

14. They don't think being liberal is synonymous with being feminist and then happily spew sexist garbage, but put their money where their mouth is. 

15. They let you watch the Real Housewives in peace. (Just kidding, no they don't).


  1. Hm, hm. I don't think I could date someone who isn't a feminist - and not in theory but in practice. A lot of dudes throw around the word feminist like just saying that means they can be as sexist as they like, "but I'm an ally!!!!" No you're not, go fuck yourself.

    ...sorry. What was I saying. Oh yes. I wouldn't be able to date someone who gaslights me or accuses me of overreacting or slutshamed. I'm probably going to have a very hard time finding someone to date, and I am OK with that.

  2. Yeah, I was trying to reference those guys with #14. The ones who think because they're liberal that somehow makes them inherently feminist. Please. I've heard the most sexist nonsense from so many liberal guys.

  3. AND WE ALL KNOW WHO THEY is a girl's drink...SHUT UP OR SO HELP ME.

  4. This made me laugh so hard and yes, Big L (that's my name for him because of that nashville tv show, crazy hearts) is kind of the best. Also, I don't think anyone will ever let us watch the Real Housewives in peace...that's why we are going to end up old and together when our partners pass away.

  5. Hahaha, aw, I can just see it now. Two little old ladies, the Real Housewives, which will obviously still be on, and mint juleps. (and of course the male strippers we pay to be our butlers)

  6. I just got out of dating a macho-type guy. It was odd...he was more in touch with his emotions than I normally am (he cried when I showed up on his doorstep on his birthday), yet when I teased him saying that he should wear a tutu for a 5k run we did, he was adament that would not happen. I was teasing dude, TEASING.

  7. The last guy I dated before I met my husband came to visit me one weekend helped me install curtain rods. He then told me, in all seriousness, that I could hang the curtains myself because that was "women's work." It was a dark time in my life.

  8. Hahah. I've known a few guys like that. It's fun when even teasing about something so silly apparently crosses some unspoken line. But it does make it even more refreshing when a guy would not only not be bothered by the teasing but actually wear a tutu to a 5k, because he doesn't get threatened by stuff like that.

  9. Hahaha, oh lord. I can't believe you're not still together.