Friday, April 25, 2014

Silencing your inner Negative Nancy in 5 easy steps

Sometimes I'm capable of a little self-reflection and in those moments I realize what a Negative Nancy I can be. I choose sarcasm over being earnest, and my first instinct is to mention what's annoying in a situation rather than to mention something positive.

And who wants to be that person? 

I tell myself it's more authentic to be snarky than to do that falsely nice bullshit, but, really, being the Negative Nancy is no better than being the sickly sweet girl who you know isn't genuine at all.

So sometimes you (okay, I) need to just take a step back and CTFD*, which is why I've created five easy steps to silence my inner Negative Nancy.

1. Calm the fuck down. It needs to be said again.

2. When you hear yourself starting a sentence with, "You know what's annoying..." just stop talking. Just stop. It's fine. Nobody needs to hear the end of that sentence.

3. Think to yourself, "What Would Andy Dwyer Do?" The answer is anything but be a dumb, nasty bitch. 

You can't be negative watching Andy. (via)
4. Throw on Katy Perry's "This Moment."

5. Remind yourself that the only way you're going to get lots of wedding gifts when the time finally comes is if people actually like you.

Or, you know, just say something positive for every negative thing you say so at least it's balanced. I'll try: You know what's annoying? All of the American Apparel skirts I just bought are totally see-through. But you know what's cool? They are super cute.

Not so hard.

*I just googled that to make sure it's an actual acronym and apparently I might just be co-opting a parenting method. Oh well.


  1. I'll never stop you when you start in on #2, because I love you.

  2. In that case, I'm going to write down every observation I have that starts that way to share with you. (Because I love you too)

  3. I would be lying if I said that my snark never got me in to trouble...

    this week...

    with my sister-in-law.

  4. Acting like Andy Dwyer is a REALLY good philosophy. I also can't help but smile and giggle whenever I think of him...especially in a recent episode, that I won't mention specifically bc I don't want to give away anything in case you're behind on watching it.

  5. Haha. It's too bad it's not always appreciated.

  6. Ugh, I am SO behind on Parks and Rec. I'm probably have at least five episodes to watch. But I'm pretty sure Andy is my favorite character after Leslie. He's so goofy and charming.