Monday, April 28, 2014

I didn't date until college

Let's just call it Confessional Monday.

I didn't date until college. And by date I mean first kiss, first everything.

(via Giphy)
I was so cripplingly shy in high school that I think most of my interactions with guys can be summed up as awkward eye contact and half-smiles. (And somehow no one ever succumbed to my charms.)

It probably didn't help that I was also insanely insecure. I thought I was ugly, I hated my freckles and it bothered me that my A&F clothes (remember them? Yeah, me neither) didn't fit the way they fit the popular girls.

The way my jeans fit bothered me especially. This was before the miracle that is skinny jeans when flared jeans were the rage, and they never hit my foot at the right place. If they fit in the butt, they were too short at the foot, and if they fit at the foot they were way too big over-all (welcome to being a taller-than-average girl). What seems like such a trivial issue now, drove me insane in high school.

So I guess my point is that it was hard to flirt with guys when I was too busy contemplating how much I hated the way my jeans fit me. (Kidding) (Kind of)

But I did lack the self-confidence to approach guys or make myself available to that kind of attention. So no, I didn't date. I didn't go to prom. I didn't kiss anyone or write stupid poems about looking at the stars with someone.

I did ignore any guys who might've liked me, however, and I did stay home from prom to watch the season finale of Nip/tuck, which was probably cooler. Right? Right?


Okay you don't have to answer that because I was continually reminded it was weird by TV shows, songs and popular media. Fucking Taylor Swift reminds me it was weird all the time. Oh hi, fifteen.

But you know what?

Whether I dated no one or 50 guys in high school doesn't mean anything now. So who cares? I'm sick of being told what I'm supposed to accomplish by when.

Besides everyone knows college is where you really go crazy and do the things that will make your mother ashamed. Seriously, whatever life experience I missed in high school, I made up for in college and my early twenties.

So my bigger point of this post is that it really doesn't matter if your dumb high school friends make you feel stupid for not making out with that pimple-faced idiot in your math class when you had the chance. You can show them by making out with the super drunk, possibly gay guy on your friend's rowing team at a college house party!

Wait, what?

Ugh, nevermind.


  1. For real? I just finished my high school and never dated in between. I had been a super academic chic so probably it never mattered much but my fellows (with 4 boyfriends or more) would always give me those sighs for not being able to catch plenty of hunks. Phew, still cool with it.

  2. Nip/Tuck was amazing for most of its run, so I'm going to say that was more fun than prom. But maybe that's just because I didn't really enjoy prom.

  3. I didn't date until I was in college either. First kiss and the whole 9. I did go with guys to prom and a few dances, but it was more of a group of friends thing than a date. You go with him, he'll go with me, she'll go with that guy - you know what I mean! I'm happy I didn't date til college. I didn't have to go through petty heartbreaks or jealousy or some of the drama that follows those young relationships :). Not to say I haven't had my fair share, but not when I should be enjoying the care free life before you become an adult!

  4. Haha, yeah. I think it's silly when people act like you have to have your first date/etc by a certain age. Who cares?

  5. Oh my god, yes, I loved the first two seasons. And I don't know if I would have really enjoyed prom--I was so oddly self-conscious at that age. But I did dress up a couple years as a prom queen for Halloween, so I like to think I made up for it.

  6. Haha, so true. I do think the one benefit of young relationships is learning what you like in another person and experimenting, etc, but you can still do that in college, so no loss really. I just think people should be allowed to live their own lives and stop being told what to accomplish by when.

  7. I didn't date until college and the only person I've ever been on a date with is my boyfriend and I couldn't be happier. I know it's not the "in" thing, but even if I only dated him my whole life, I'd be completely fine with that. As long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. It is dumb that there is a stigma to dating "late" and not dating 500 guys. I say, take it slow, you'll find a great guy who will make you happy instead of experiences all that drama and heartbreak.

  8. I didn't date anyone either in high school, because that was so lame. I'm really lying because I was dateless in high school due to my obsession with the angsty arty guys who always wanted the cheerleader. WHAT? Also, by possibly you mean definitely...I think he's married now, btw. I'm honored to have been a horrified witness (instigator) to that drunken kiss and to have had my college heydays with you.

  9. I went on one date in high school and a couple dates in college. I never had a boyfriend until I was 25 and met my husband. On the other hand, my brother started dating the girl he is marring this summer 6 years ago--during high school. I think that the media is totally wrong (and a lot of people, too) for pushing girls to date at a young age. I thought the pimpled face guy from math class was gross, so I refused to date those guys, despite peer pressure. I think I am a better person (compared to who I might have been) for waiting till I was comfortable.

  10. Amen to taking it slow and not feeling like you have to date a bunch of guys by the time high school is over. It's okay! Besides, I think your twenties is when the interesting stuff starts to happen in your life anyway. I'm happy for you and your boyfriend!

  11. UGH THE ANGSTY GUYS. You would like them. I liked the All-American boys, who coincidentally also wanted the cheerleaders. And is he really married? Oy. I wish them all the happiness in the world. (Did that sound like sarcasm? It's not.)

  12. Yeah, I definitely think people should feel encouraged to date when they want to. They shouldn't be made to feel weird for not having kissed someone by middle school. We act like high school is our peak time to live when it's such an insignificant blip in the grand scheme of things. I think young relationships can be great life experiences and I would never shame a girl for having her first experiences at a young age, but there's too much pressure to reach life stages at certain points. Glad it worked out for you and your now-husband!

  13. I didn't date until college, either! Okay, technically I did have a boyfriend in 10th grade, and he was my first kiss, but turns out I wasn't his type, His type was (and still is) other guys.

  14. Haha, that's always the best first boyfriend story anyway.