Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The people who will be at your Halloween party

Linking up with Helene in Between and Venus Trapped in Mars today!

Unsure about your Halloween costume? Maybe you should start by considering what everyone else is going to wear. 

First off, you know there will be at least five Mileys.

via

Why? a) duh. b) skimpy clothes + topical = costume gold. Who will be wearing this? College girls and your friend who likes any opportunity to turn her bras into costumes.

2. The hyper-masculine bro who thinks cross-dressing is hilarious. He may or may not be dressed as Miley Cyrus but he'll be sure to tell you 50 times that he isn't actually gay.

3. The Zooey Deschanel of your friends. She'll look charmingly adorable and will probably be dressed up as some kind of animal. (Note: full body animal. Not sexy animal.)

Painted on whiskers never fail. (via)

4. That lazy son of a bitch who'll only bother to tape something to his shirt and it's probably a pun.

Ha ha, get it? (via)

5. The topical politician (or, you know, Miley as Michele Bachmann).

6. That know-it-all acquaintance who will wear something no one gets and gladly condescend to you about it. Probably an English major. 

7. The cute couple who actually bothered to coordinate their outfits. They're either wearing food or shitting on everyone else's costumes with their adorableness:


via

8. A flapper. Multiply how many girls dressed as one last year (answer: a lot) by 10. Thanks, Leonardo DiCaprio. 

9. That friend who's supposed to go as a hideously dressed beauty queen but will end up buying a flattering backless gown because she's a vain bitch. 

Oh hi.

10. The group costumers who'll coordinate some TV show like New Girl or The Walking Dead. Yeah I don't have enough friends to do that either. 

Happy (early) Halloween!


Helene in Between



22 comments:

  1. haha! it's so true. esp those who dress in some weird costume that no one gets because "you're not smart enough to get the reference". dickwad.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. hahaha, what about the person who take halloween literally and comes as something disgusting and scary? Because that would be me. I still think halloween should be about scaring the pants off of people, but usually around 2am when everyone has ditched their costume and is wearing normal clothes, I still have a face-full of zombie makeup and am feeling a bit silly.

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  3. #8 dying. this is all so true. i wish i could figure out what to be. not miley tho. definitely not miley.

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  4. Aren't they the worst? I tried to think of an incredibly obscure example for the post but I failed because obviously I'm just not on that level.

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  5. Haha, yes! I should add it as an honorable mention. I'm actually really impressed with what some people can do with just a little (okay a lot) of make-up.

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  6. Haha, not even vintage Miley? When she still had long hair and didn't only wear spandex? Good luck thinking of something!

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  7. Well, I would like to say that I went as Miley before it was popular. It was a double costume--I was Miley, but then I threw on a wig and all of a sudden, BOOM. Hannah Montana.

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  8. Haha, no way, vintage Miley is totally a legit costume. Who doesn't miss Hannah Montana?

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  9. I'm glad that your beauty queen costume made it in this, BECAUSE IT TOOK YOU THREE HOURS TO GET YOUR BUMP IT HAIR RIGHT. Yes, I'm still bitter about missing the free beer, but yes, you looked GREAT!

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  10. These are great! There is so much truth here! I especially enjoy the "Painted on whiskers never fail" fact. Couldn't have said it better myself!

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  11. Man if I had enough friends I'd definitely talk them into dressing up as the cast of The Walking Dead.

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  12. Whatever, Wonder Woman. You know we got free drinks at the bar. And maybe I should've added superheroes because Logan wants to go as Duff Man this year.

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  13. Thanks, Lauren! Minus when I was 5, I don't think I've done painted on whiskers in awhile. Might need to change that.

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  14. I know! I think I'd have to call Lori, since she has long, brown hair. Or Maggie. They are probably my only two options.

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  15. Well..I would be somewhat impressed if a few "Mileys" strapped a giant wrecking ball between their legs, and walked around "swinging" on that all night long....in a full body nude suit. :)

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  16. SPOT ON. Especially #3. How do girls manage to look precious while dressed as a tiger?! Not fair, I'd just look like an idiot.

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  17. You know what? I'd be impressed by that too. But just leave it to the exhibitionist who takes it one step further and forgoes the nude suit. And now that I think about it, I'm sure some guy would find it hilarious to go as her in the little white tank and panties, carrying a sledgehammer.

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  18. Yeah I feel like this costume goes to the girl who always wears baby-doll dresses and bows in her hair.

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  19. Miley cases are so often now . But the couple thing , I can't decide what should I do ? Praise or try to hide my awkwardness with it . Sigh!!

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  20. Hah, I'm sure you'll think of something. You could always go the Lindsey Lohan/Mean Girls route and do something totally over the top.

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