Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Moving time

So I moved from Kansas to Colorado over the weekend with my boyfriend of a little more than one year, and I'm not sure I've ever been happier for something to be over.

Packing is the worst--do I even need to say that?

Except that we're not totally done. A lot of my family lives out here, so until we get on our feet, we're staying with my mom. But! we're planning to get out our own place pronto, which means we'll need to move all of our stuff again.

But I'm kind of excited for that part.

I can't wait to decorate our place and have our own space. Pinterest and DIY Buzzfeed have probably given me an on over-inflated sense of my own abilities, but I look at it as the perfect time to get crafty.

Still, it's a bit scary that my boyfriend and I went from having jobs and apartments to being unemployed with nowhere to live in the course of a weekend. But we both know it's exactly what we want and the move has been totally necessary.

While I loved the city we used to live in, I can't imagine spending yet another year there doing the same thing day in and day out.

It would've been ideal to move with jobs already lined up, but we have money saved up and clearly, we like to live on the edge.

The only thing that sucks is the people you leave behind.

Social media won't replace actually seeing them in person and I didn't realize how attached I had become to the town until I was packing up my belongings.

But I spent about 5 years in that town and it's time to move on.

And I've got some exciting new things to look forward to: moving in with my boyfriend, living near my family again and a blog redesign!

Crystal from The Happy Type gifted me a with re-design from the talented and lovely Melyssa of the The Nectar Collective and I can't wait to see the final result. She has already sent me lots of great stuff, so I know it'll be awesome.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The search for the perfect black eyeliner (or a long list of life's failures)

Black eyeliner is my life.

If there is only one item of make-up I could have, it would be black eyeliner (and, mascara, since please, like I'm not getting two choices here).

I use black eyeliner nearly every single time I do my make-up. It's truly one of my great loves.

My go-to eye look is neutral browns with a cat-eye. Like so:

Sometimes I make it sluttier for nights. And then sometimes I regret making it so slutty, before I remember that smudged eyes make you look glamorous and mysterious, like you're the type of person who lies around on bread slices. (Yes, that was a reference to Miley Cyrus' latest video. Topical, I know).

And let me tell you, I have tried SO many different eyeliners looking for the perfect one. It would be wrong not to document my success and failures.


Cake eyeliner from The Make Up Store:

It is not an understatement to say this is the BEST EYELINER EVER. It goes on dark, smooth and sharp. One could even say this eyeliner started my love affair (it's serious) with cake eyeliners.

I found it while living in Sydney, Australia, where there was an actual Make Up Store near where I lived and I have NOT been able to re-purchase it living in Kansas as they don't actually sell their products on their website. (Because why sacrifice exclusivity for, you know, customers?)

Now I worry my glowing memory of this damn eyeliner has overshadowed its actual qualities, but it's completely become the one that got away. (You didn't think I'd go a whole post without a Katy Perry reference, did you?)

Amazonian clay eyeliner from Tarte:

This is my current favorite, since I can actually purchase it online.

It's creamy and dark and tends to stay put. It also smudges nicely if you get to it before it dries. And it comes with a brush! Which become increasingly unnecessary with each purchase, but hey, it's exciting the first time.

It also does not have a tendency to flake, unless you pile too much on or try to put more on after it's already dry.

I've repurchased this eyeliner, which is a big deal because I love trying new eyeliners. THAT MEANS I LIKE IT AND YOU SHOULD TOO.

Gel eyeliner from Lancome:

I'll be honest. This one isn't my favorite. But it works well enough to be considered a success.

And, really, it works pretty damn well. Stays put, goes on dark.

The only thing is that it dries rather quickly and it makes it hard if you don't get your cat-eye on the first try. (Because you know what? Some mornings I am just not with it and my cat-eye coordination sucks. You would think after doing it so many times, I would have the routine pat, but no.)

But it's good at not smudging and it lasts, though mine would sometimes flake off by the time the day was over.


Cake eyeliner from Clinique:

The very definition of "meh."

Billed as "natural black" this eyeliner is BORING. No thanks, Clinique.

I don't not want my eyeliner natural, I want it IN-YOUR-FACE-yes-bitches-I'm-wearing-eyeliner!

But it stays on well, so there's that.

Cake eyeliner from Laura Mercier:

This stuff works, but it's way too pricy for what you get. It also smudges. And is gone way too fast.


Gel eyeliner from Pixi:
The fact that I can barely remember how this eyeliner goes on tells me everything I need to know.


Cake eyeliner from Kryolan:


This stuff is worthless without the sealer, and the sealer gunks up your eyelashes, resulting in clumpy and gross mascara.

It's supposed to be stage make-up, so I had high hopes, but they were mercilessly dragged through the mud. Through the mud!

It's still sitting on my make-up shelf, so maybe one day I'll try it again. Or maybe I'll just keep ignoring it like a jilted lover.

I keep trying to find a cake eyeliner to replace my true love (mentioned above), but it never ends well.

Cream eyeliner from Lorac:
This might be better than I think it is, but the pot I purchased was dry as a motherfucker.

I got it for cheap from Haute Look, so maybe it came from the reject pile, but I was not impressed.

I'd be willing to give it another try if I wasn't already perfectly happy with Tarte's eyeliner.

Gel eyeliner from Bobbi Brown:


I've read the reviews and I thought I would find true love. And then I didn't and it was SOUL-CRUSHING.

Like the Lorac, I don't know if I got a bad batch, but it flaked and had no staying power what-so-ever.

I remember putting eye-drops in and it would absolutely disintegrate the liner I had on, so all I had left was a sad outline of what I had been wearing.

It could quite possibly be the biggest let-down of my life. The biggest.

Please let me know what liners worked for you or didn't!

Friday, July 19, 2013

25 things to do by the time you're 25

Look, I'm not an expert on many things in life, but I can say with some certainty that I'm at least knowledgeable about being 25.

And there are just some things in life that should be accomplished or learned by the time you're five years away from turning 30.

Let's start easy.

1. Try a pickle shot. It's half vodka and half pickle juice and it's where good times start.

2. Decide whether you like sushi or not. If you don't, don't force it. And certainly don't try it and then down half a dozen sake bombs, unless you never want to know if you and sushi maybe had something special and then it was just ruined forever.

3. Learn your correct bra size. And that does not start with getting measured at Victoria's Secret.

4. Gain enough confidence in yourself that you don't take on the dumb personalities of everyone you date, including your boyfriend or girlfriend's stupid taste in music.

5. Move past high school. No one should peak at 18. ("Oh man, you were really cool in high school? That's awesome. Please continue discussing this subject.")

6. Eat a pickled egg with salt and pepper and hot sauce. Preferably following a night out.

7. Travel/live abroad. Financially, this isn't an option for everyone, but if you can work it out, DO IT. And do it on your own. You'll be forced to venture out of your shell if you don't travel with a group no matter how shy you think you are and you'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish on your own.

8. Buy a beautiful and inevitably expensive box of macarons because they are delicious and because they will look adorable sitting on your kitchen counter.

9. Learn to like wine. There is nothing better after a day of work than a cold glass of chardonnay or a hearty glass of cabernet sauvignon. That's right. I said hearty.

10. Learn how to paint your nails within the lines. I still struggle with this.

11. Make a complete, mortifying fool of yourself in front of a boy or girl and don't give a fuck. Let them go tell their friends how crazy you are. The fuck do you care?

12. Reread all the classics that you were forced to read in high school with fresh, non "I'm so smart and know everything" teenager eyes.

13. Realize you're still young and dumb at 25 and don't need to have everything figured out just yet.

14. Recognize that you don't need to find ways to feel superior to other people to be a worthwhile person. No one cares how esoteric or mainstream your interests are.

15. Go through a Dolly Parton phase. (that you never grow out of)

16. Skinny-dip.

17. Learn how to do the cat-eye. Once you know it, it's the only look you'll ever need.

18. Get your heart broken or don't. Get engaged or don't. Date or enjoy being single. Just realize that you're not defined by another person.

19. You don't have to be a domestic goddess to make fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, so perfect that shit.

20. Move away from home. Preferably hundreds of miles away if possible, even if just temporarily.

21. Go through an 80s hair band phase. (grow out of it)

22. Learn how to french-braid your own hair. It's time you did.

23.  Figure out how to tip without dragging out your phone's calculator. It's easy. Look at the total, slide the decimal point to the left once and multiply by two. Done!

24. Realize that candles are awesome. They seem like such a cliché gift, but in reality they are amazing and completely transform a damn room. 

25.  Learn to never get too comfortable. You're twenties are for figuring out where the fuck you're going in life.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Life lessons from my blogging bestie

Putting Miss America and Wonder Woman to shame.

I first met Crystal (you can find her adorably designed new blog here) through another one of my good friends during my junior year of college, but we didn't become close until the next year when we shared a class together and realized we were basically the same person.

Now she's one of my best friends and there's no one else who quite understands my love for Taylor Swift and Syfy original movies.

She's also a woman of wisdom who has pushed me to explore my creative talents through this blog and I thought it would only be fitting to share the life lessons I've learned from her over the years.

1. Sunshine Pink Boone's Farm is and will always be a viable drinking option. Always.

2. Most guys aren't worth making a fool of yourself for. While they are fleeting, dignity is forever.

3. Katy Perry, Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson are just where it's at sometimes. Never be too much of a music snob to forget that. (But, seriously? Keep your Justin Bieber love to yourself.)

4. Real friends are like the family that you choose. Shit is sacred.

5. Cheese balls (no, not those... THESE) are necessary for a properly stocked kitchen.

6. If someone judges you for drinking boxed wine, they are not worth knowing.

7. Syfy original movies are perfect. They are not a waste of time. They are made with love and they should be watched with love.

8. Best friends don't judge. Best friends love no matter what shitty decisions their friends make. But best friends also know when to start being honest and tell their friends when they need to get it together.

9. The Lifetime Movie Channel is all one really needs to lead a happy life.

10. STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART. (She literally just told me this, in all caps, mind, over Facebook chat.)

Because I like to express myself in song, I dedicate this to you, Crystal:

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Righteous anger and swimsuit shopping

A really stupid thing happened on Thursday.

I was last-minute shopping for a cheap, new swimsuit at Target with my boyfriend and trying to be as quick as possible so we could meet up with his family for Fourth of July festivities at a lake where they were camping.

I needed a swimsuit that was family friendly (after the tops to the two bikinis I already own became a bit too small) but I didn't want to spend very much.

We walk into the store, and one of the first things that annoyed me? How many people were there shopping. Yeah, I know. How annoying, other people are doing the same thing I'm doing. The nerve. 

But after a few failed attempts at getting a bikini top to fit, I was in one of those moods where every other human interaction was bothering me. (Yes, that is code for I was being a raging jackass).

In an effort to save money, I figured I could look for a top that matched one of the bikini bottoms I already own and of course, nothing fit properly. It was either too gape-y or too tight or too fucking stupid looking.

So I find a one-piece that I actually think is pretty cute. Pretty fuchsia color, nice v-neck with a ruffle detail, flattering.

I go to try it on and when I walk into the 12-room dressing area, every door is closed. Every last door.

Now I've been in this dressing room before plenty of times and there are never more than three or so rooms in use at a time, so I think to myself, "no way these are all full," and I plow ahead, testing the door of the room I think is least likely to be occupied.

Because I know these doors lock, I go ahead and turn the handle. And it opens. To immediately slam into the girl inside it.

Okay. Awkward laugh and apology. I shut the door and try another.

Same thing happens.

And now I'm the just asshole who barges in on people.

The salesgirl finds a closed room that just happens to be empty and I go inside fuming.

I had just had the thought earlier in the day that I hate when people do private things behind doors that lock, and yet, don't turn the lock. Especially when the default for whatever room they are in is that the door stays closed. (Because apparently knocking is for plebeians.)

So there I am alone in the dressing room pissed that there are so many people in a Target on a holiday when it is the last place I want to be, pissed that no top is fitting me correctly and pissed that no one knows how to use a lock.

But I try on the fuchsia swimsuit I had grabbed in small and medium. The small was too tight in the chest area and the torso was too short. But the medium fit pretty damn well, and I settle on it.

Of course I'm not appeased that I have a winner. I just want to get out of the dressing room so I can talk shit on all the other people in it to my boyfriend waiting outside.

I disgustedly discard the rejected swimsuits, including the fuchsia one that I thought didn't fit, in the cart outside the dressing area before I go and tell him the whole story.

Because I'm nothing if not spiteful, I told this dumbass story the entire way from the back of the store to the registers at the front where I buy the swimsuit and then immediately rip the tags off my new purchase once I'm in the car.

And then I don't think about it again until several hours later when I'm standing in the camper owned by my boyfriend's parents about to get dressed for swimming. I pull that fuchsia swimsuit up my legs and can immediately tell by the snugness that is not the medium I thought I bought.

It's the fucking small I thought I discarded.

And it's tight and it's not very modest and it completely defeats the purpose of trying to get a less showy bathing suit. And it's all I have.

And I hadn't even known I had discarded the medium in my rage. I was too busy being annoyed.

So I guess the moral of the story is...

Don't be a miserable bitch?

Friday, July 5, 2013

So many thoughts...

But here are my top five:

1. Now which one of those girls does he have tunnel vision for?


3. Nice beard. (Does that sound like sarcasm? It's not, I swear.)

4. Take it off yourself next time, JT. Naked girls are a dime a dozen.

5. Damn it if you don't have charisma. Damn it, JT.