Tuesday, June 25, 2013

An ode to nail polish

My nail polish collection.
Look, I fucking love nail polish.

I'm not going to make any bones about it.

Last time I counted--which was months ago, so who knows now--I had 72 bottles of nail polish. And you know what? If the Duggars can keep popping out J-named kids, I can keep growing this collection.

Essie is where my heart is because their colors are always so perfect (minus the runny reds), but my collection encompasses several brands, including the cheap Sinful Colors polishes--which are completely hit-or-miss in terms of quality and longevity--and other drugstore brands, like Revlon.

I don't spend more than $10 on a bottle, since I honestly don't even have the option to in the town where I live, and also, I have no need to, when Essie runs $8 a polish and can be found in any Walgreens.

People (guys) like to make comments asking what the point is, when guys don't even notice (see here) what you do to your nails, but I can honestly say I've never once painted them hoping a man would like it.

Which is apparently insane to some people (guys). To not dress for men. To not live to be attractive to men.

I used to be more into nail art. Which, by the way, takes fucking forever.

I bought a booklet of gold leaf (GOLD LEAF) to adhere to my nails, per this gorgeous suggestion, before realizing it was never worth the effort.

But not once did guys factor into it. "Oh man, I wonder if (insert guy's name) will find these nails sexy?!"

Hah. Please. 

My dresses may not always be for me, but my nails are.

Some bottles are useless pieces of goop now, but I don't want to get rid of them, because I bought the color because I loved it and have a useless hope that it'll figure out the right consistency once again.

Other bottles are used every chance I get (hello Big Spender!). Some are years old, but still hold up.

And some are recently purchased, celebrating the new season.

Painting my nails is not so much an interest as something I like to do to relax.

My routine?

1) Cut any needed nails.
2) Even nails.
3) Buff nails.
4) Apply Revlon Quick Dry base coat.
5) Apply color of choice. (Big Spender, just do it!)
6) Apply second coat.
7) Apply Essie "Good to Go" top coat.

It takes, maybe, 30 minutes in all, if you really drag it out.

The perfect time to rewatch an episode of Parks and Rec or 30 Rock.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't know that you had that many bottles, but I am totally proud to have contributed to the number with my care packages! Look for about 5 more bottles which will be leaving Seoul soon!!!